I’ve taken a step backwards in recent weeks. I’ve felt the old PTSD symptoms re-emerging, clouding my mind and creeping in at the edges. It can be hard to admit that, even to myself. We’re taught from such a young age to always look ahead, plan the next step, move forwards. Always reaching for the next goal. But sometimes the past catches up with us.
But maybe backwards doesn’t always mean failure. Maybe moving backwards can help us move on.
There’s a growing movement for ‘living in the moment’, but recently I’ve been wondering if taking it one step further has its own benefits. Recovery is not linear. Revisiting the past can teach us so much about our future. And what are flashbacks other than our mind’s insistence that we do this?
Perhaps it’s not about moving forwards at all, but rather growing up and out: strength rather than direction. I might have taken a step backwards, but I’ll be all the stronger for it.
